I made it through the night of a million ants. And the million imaginary spiders. I was starting to get behind on work (all those spiders and ants can take up a lot of valuable work time), so I looked for an RV park with wifi that was next up along the route.
My plan was to get set up, get a bunch of work done, get a good night’s (ant-free) sleep, and then head onward towards Vegas to meet up with a friend from high school.
The RV park that best fit my criteria was in a random town in the middle of nowhere next to an abandoned strip mall. All that was around was a closed-down restaurant. As it was Sunday, the RV park itself was also closed.
RV parks often leave notes about available spots with information on the gate code to get in (one wonders about the true value of a gate code at that point, but I don’t really have a better solution). I grabbed the code, drove in, and picked an empty space. The park was about 80% full. I saw 0 people the entire time I was there. Possibly I actually was staying in a zombie town, but I didn’t see any zombies either, so I felt pretty safe.
Until I ventured outside.
I decided to walk to the nearest non-abandoned strip mall (about 6 blocks away) to have dinner and get a few things at the grocery store. It was a fine, non-eventful walk on a sidewalk, across an overpass, past a gas station, and to a little cluster of businesses around a parking lot.
While I was at the store, my phone began sounding an alarm. Flash flood warning!
I looked outside and it was like a monsoon. I waited a bit but it didn’t seem like the rain was going to let up any time soon. So, whatever, a romantic walk in the rain it is!
It was warm out, I was soaking wet, it was fine.
A guy pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride. Which was super sweet! I said I was fine. Because the rain didn’t really bother me. Also, he didn’t look like a serial killer who waits for women walking during flash flood warnings, but you just never know.
I walked one more block and then had to cross the street. But the gutters were totally flooded with rushing, rushing water. Like a miniature version of those rapids you raft down if you’re hard core. Way too wide to step over. Over jump over.
What can you do, right? It was at most 6 inches deep. It’s not like I’m going to drown! So I took as big of a step as I could right into the rushing gutter water. When I lifted up my foot, the water tore my shoe right off my foot! And I watched as it was whisked out onto the freeway.
So then I had one shoe.
It seemed kind of stupid to walk the rest of the way with one shoe. I could take the shoe off but then I’d be walking barefoot in the rain down the sidewalk. Which sounds like a Taylor Swift video but maybe would actually be a super bad idea?
I was near the gas station so I thought maybe they would sell flip flops there? (Unlikely, but I was sort of desperate.) I walked by a cop who was getting gas. I said, “oh, I just lost one shoe in in the gutter! I probably shouldn’t keep walking barefoot, haha!”
He said, “you could get electrocuted that way” in a super serious voice. I dunno about that, but OK.
He said he would give me a ride. First though I had to wait for him to go buy a Big Gulp. He did not offer to get me one.
Then I had to sit in the back where the door handles had been ripped out. I realized the car said “public safety” not “police”, so I was thinking, is he actually a cop or is he a security guard? Because if he’s a security guard, he’s likely to just kill me and store my body somewhere.
I started strategizing what I would do if I started getting murdered. It would be hard to escape without door handles and also his gun likely trumped by makeshift RV keys/knife.
I had to wait while he used his Galaxy tablet to take a picture of his receipt and upload it to his expense report program (of the Big Gulp or just the gas?). He started telling me about how they had replaced the in-car computers with these Galaxy tablets and were so great. I thought it would be weird to do an expense report right before killing me, right?
Well, I know you are in suspense, but I am not murdered!
But I am totally bummed that I lost my favorite sandals I got in Brazil! Well, one sandal.